Can you hear me now?

"The first duty of love is to listen.” --Paul Tillich

The other day I was having a rough time. Some worrisome thoughts were taking up residence in my mind, and I found myself easily distracted. Despite the nagging troubles, I had made plans to meet a friend for lunch just to catch up.

As we hadn't visited with each other in a while, the natural questions arose about how life was going for each of us. I managed to deflect the attention from me with a somewhat moody, "I'm not that great, but I don't really want to talk about it right now." My friend was respectful and didn't push the issue. That opened the door for her to share, and I was secretly relieved and content to just sit back and listen.

About halfway through our lunch, the nagging worries returned and I felt myself becoming distracted from the conversation. I was so overwhelmed that I almost felt disconnected from the room. It was the closest I've felt to a physical experience of having my thoughts take me somewhere else. You know that expression--'you seem a million miles away'? That's how I felt! My friend's conversation was important, and I didn't want to miss it because I was losing focus. I really wanted to be there for her. I repeated to myself, "The first duty of love is to listen" and grace pulled me back into the space we were both occupying at the restaurant.

After our visit, she was so grateful for the opportunity to sort out much of what was on her mind. I found it an absolute privilege to be there for her. It is not always easy to listen--especially for an extravert like me. And it is extremely difficult to listen when your own thoughts are swirling around in your head and demanding your attention. But the act of love--true genuine care and concern for another--is a powerful gift. One of those gifts that is wonderful for both the giver and the receiver.

My friend and I parted company with the promise to get together again soon, and on that occasion she said it would be her turn to listen!

Marching forth with ears wide open...